Always Falling for the Male Lead aren’t we???
So I’m up late tonight writing after what was a LOOOOOONG DAY.
No need to recount hours already passed. Only I drove out to LA today to visit a dress shop. Yep… it set me back a few hundred dollars but let me tell you, she makes the classiest, sexiest dresses on the planet. Not over-exaggerating. Remember, I’m a connoisseur of fine dresses. And traffic in LA still SUCKS. Parking in LA still SUCKS. The air smells like it farts.
That’s not what this post is about.
I’m watching the Lord of the Rings The Fellowship of the Ring and it’s after midnight. I’m realizing how my eyebrows lift every time Aragon gets screen time with his calm demeanor, level-head, sharp sword and undying devotion to Arwyn.
And when I thought of all the male leads in books and films that get our blood rushing and heart thumping, don’t they all have the same traits?
Here’s my question…
Why can’t we find these guys in real life?
I mean, millions of women, LOVE Christian Grey (although he’s borderline insane) and Edward Cullen and Mr. Darcy. They’re all stoic and thoughtful and say the stuff we want to hear, right??? They’ll like cuddle with you when you’re having a bad day and nurse you back to health when you’re sick. Because they want you to be well. They don’t ever want to lose you because they can’t live without you.
I wonder… Because I’ve never found my ultimate love but when a woman marries a guy is HE like that? I mean, are these traits in a guy? Is it possible? Can these guys exist? (And let me just say….are these traits in a SANE, NORMAL guy. I mean they’re in a jealous, possessive, unstable guy who needs a shrink._
I mean, by writing these books and the purchasing of these books by zillions of women, we keep telling them what we want. What will ultimately make us the most blissful girls in the world and we get…. (shrugs).
The worst kind of guys are the rude guys who have never been taught that women are to be respected. Those male chauvinists, macho buttholes. You’ll find them on message boards sometimes telling us women what’s wrong with us… the same old same old…”gold digger” “standards too high” “superficial” yadda yadda yadda… Whenever, I see it, I’m like, dude, it’s soooo unmanly what you’re doing. Mr. Darcy wouldn’t spend the time to combat women online or even worse in person. Neither would Edward Cullen. Nick Caraway. Like once I posted a review on a relationship book FOR WOMEN and do you know who comments???? Mr. Butthole! And he did so argumentatively–I guess. Once I detected his tone I just clicked delete and never responded. That’s the best way to deal with Mr. Butthole. Make him irrelevant.
Anyway…. I’ve been like thinking lately about male heroes in literature, heck, even the ones that I write! And I have to say that the reason that these men are so similar when we write them is because it’s innate for us to be attracted to the same traits! I really believe that. Like I was watching the Steve Harvey show and this guy transformed himself into a “Christian Grey” for his wife. Well, all the bossy stuff didn’t turn her on but do you know what she said she liked? She liked the fact that he kept his eyes only her! “He’s never done that before,” she said. Hearing her say that scared me. Because I’m SO turned off when a guy checks out another woman when he’s with me. I don’t even take him serious anymore really.
I hate those guys. You know, those guys who are with their wife or girlfriend and checking other women out. And I roll my eyes at them or give them a dirty look if they’re looking at me. It’s just… so unsexy. And then the girl has to pretend that she doesn’t see it. And it’s happened to me. I remember this one guy I was dating and we were in the Coffee Bean and this girl walks in and he’s just staring. I was SO embarrassed. I mean, dude, do you know how you’re making me look right now? Maybe they do know? Maybe it’s a passive aggressive move because they don’t do it when they’re trying to get into our pants for the first time!!!
Anyway…. I’m holding out ladies! I want the literary hero or NOBODY AT ALL. LOL!!!! And I wish that was a joke. But sadly it isn’t. I guess if I look at the male leads in my books, in Parched I’d like a Finn and a Baron with a little Max Black in my Misty Black series all in one! 🙂 And I’m always thinking… I’m a real person, I created them so they must’ve derived from experience. But I go back into my memory back and can’t find them COMPLETELY in any guy I’ve ever been involved with…. Sigh…. So yeah, it must be that innate thing.
But here’s the clincher…
If you read genre fiction written by men, you’ll see that their female heroines are completely different from how we write our female heroines. Like in Stieg Larrson’s The Girl with the…. series. The women are stronger, more independent and comfortable with their sexuality. The women have an edge too. They don’t pout or complain, and can understand reason. I’m actually about to delve into a new series. The Samantha Moon series about a female vampire detective. I generally don’t like reading about a female lead written by a male author, in this case J.R.Rain but I’m still going to tackle it. I really liked Lisbeth Salander. She felt real to me and only a man could write her that way. So, I’m hoping Samantha Moon is just as well written.
Alright… now I’m going to write another page on book 7 and then go to bed. The Lord of the Rings “The Two Towers” is on now. It’s 1:32AM. I’ve decided to embrace being nocturnal. I do my best work early in the morning like this 🙂
Ooh. Now Gandalph is a White Wizard… ooooh… Love this film! Love it! I’ll admit…Can’t get through the books without wanting to eye edit it all and cut all those dang un-needed pages that slow down the action!