Starting On “Getting To Know Her”…



I’m moved into my apartment in Chicago. It’s been a rough week and I’ve already learned some lessons.

Lesson number 1– 50 degrees (any number with a five or less in front of it) is way too cold for me… So if it’s 41 degrees or lower, then I’m dying a slow death. Seriously…

Lesson number 2– I might want to live a walkable life but not if it’s in the cold. I thought I could handle it but NOPE. For me, a cold day is one where I can wear my long sweater and be warm.

Lesson number 3 — I need a house.  I have the worst luck with high-rise and apartment living. One of my girlfriends was just telling me how she moved into a new apartment and she can’t hear a peep out of her neighbors. Well, day two of moving in my apartment and bone-head upstairs wants to play his loud, bass tainted, techno music. ALL. DAY. LONG. I kid you not. Why me? No. Really. Why me?

Also, this building has a strange heating system. Basically, they’ve turned off the heat already for the “season.” So when it’s 40 degrees outside, it’s 20 degrees in the hallways. There’s no heat!!! I have to use space heaters and they hardly work. Oh and the electric bill???? Can’t wait to see that. The suspense is killing me.

Another lesson I’ve learned is to hire a cross-country moving company whether I have furniture or not. Shipping boxes via UPS ended up costing me over $1k. (shakes head)–along with the exhaustion of boxing, carrying all those boxes down stairs, packing them into my car and then unloading to ship. Next time–I pay movers.


So when my 6 months lease is up, I’m so “going back to Cali, Cali…Cali” Dude, I soooo know so….

Alright. And so I’ve officially started Getting To Know Her, A Chicago Love Story.

I had some issues with writing this story that I’ve been trying to rectify in my brain for the last three months. In the end, I’ve decided to be bold and write the story I want to tell. Heck, that’s what I’ve been doing thus far.

So I’m going to write the difficult story. But I want you to stick with me because there is a universal theme here. I wonder about theme’s or epigrams sometimes. Are they so because they’re true? Or are they so because we create them, reproduce them and because of that they somehow become part of our belief system (which are full of untruths)? If you love something enough to set it free, really, will it come back to you? Or do we as people just love the way that sounds????

But then, how many times have we heard stories of people who’ve experienced an epigram in real life? We’ve heard them. Marvel about their stories. And hoped they would happen to us. Well, that’s what fiction is all about, right? The hope that it can happen to us.  Or if you’re in a hopeless situation–then experiencing it through someone else…


I’ve been deliberating about this for some time now. Each time I write a new book, I go through this battle in my mind. Be truthful or write what they want. Like–Say You Love Her for example. I didn’t want to write the man with the vagina. I’ve seen it done that way far too many times and it makes me want to gag. But those books are popular–women love them! They want the sensitive guy who reads like a woman. They don’t want a man to be a man. I watch the Bethenny Show and sometimes she has these man panels. When the men tell the mostly female audience the truth about what men think and how they are, the women let out collective moans. I mean–really–most women don’t want to know the truth! Or, we want to know the truth as we want it. I mean, maybe I should’ve given Charlie a vagina–only I would’ve gagged throughout the process of writing it. I guess, I’m the lone Bethenny! LOL! Because while the women moan and shake their heads, Bethenny is nodding and says, “I can see it.” Then she explains why and the women go silent. They don’t want the truth. They want the truth as they know it.

Well… At least I have the benefit of knowing that if readers have gotten this far, then they’re okay with my way of not writing the norm. And um–I don’t write men with vaginas or female tendencies. I’m just putting that out there. Look… they don’t call their penis anything but a “dick.” They don’t even call their penis a penis! They may call it a package though. Some may call it a cock but it depends on what mood they’re in. 😉

Anyway–I digress…

So… I’m going to write “Getting To Know Her” the way it REQUIRES to be written!

So hold on to your seats ladies and the small number of gentlemen who read my books :-)… Shocking… LOL! This next story is going to take you on the unconventional romantic ride of your life!

Since 53 degrees is too cold for me to frolic in, I’m staying inside and writing all day. I hate wearing heavy layers  of clothing. I have a closet full of gladiator sandals and dresses. I’m just going to hang out indoors mostly until the weather permits.

Much Love.



  • Katiuska Martinez

    I shall read what you write dear….. I have never been to Chicago, I do have a friend who lives there now …. I will be looking forward to the series and looking out for those famous places!!!

  • victoriawarren

    Don’t worry, the warm weather IS on its way! . = Although this year has been particularly nasty to us. My sandals gathering dust as well. I heard a rumor that 80 degree weather is coming tomorrow. Yay! But, with this crazy weather who knows it will stay. I should have steered ypu to my area. Lots of lake cottage homes for rent, peace and quiet. 🙂
    I think that we ALL want a man who acts like a man, but doesn’t miss a beat and knows what we want, when we want it. Your guys are awesome! No worries in that department! 🙂 Their strong men. Really, that IS what we want. Who likes a girly man anyway!
    Glad you’re here and happy writing!
    Vic 🙂

    • Z.L Arkadie

      I know 🙂 It’s already warmer today–over 60 degrees, which means I want to go outside! LOL! I might rent one of those cottages for a week or so in the summer. I definitely should head to Martha’s Vineyard for a few days before the Summer mayhem hits! But they’re stick in the 60’s degrees wise too… Sigh… I need 70’s with my Spring and Summer 🙂 Me… I’m attracted to a man who’s ambitious, is the best at what he does and is intense and intuitive. He’s considerate (which is a RARE male quality). He knows when to exercise humility because he’s knows when to be the hero in a situation. And he’s okay with me, just the way I am. 🙂 I’ve met guys who have most of those qualities. They’re always lacking one or two. Or usually, one will expose another cringe worthy quality. Like, he may give a homeless person money, but he does it because it makes him feel superior. That kind of thing.


      I might be overthinking this… LOL!

      I’m happy to be here too! Can’t wait to get out there and get into this city.

      Talk soon!

  • rosemary wright

    HI as i always say if men could give birth they couldn’t cope with giving birth to a whole child or baby so they would give birth to a little elf instead and on that note just makes us laugh ( and did you know seahorses males give birth ) happy writing take care rosemary

  • Michelle Munday

    Romance is not my usual style of book so you must be doing something right, I am hooked & eagerly await the new release. So please, keep writing just the way you have been!
    You’re doing better than I. Anything below 60 is too cold for me 😀
    But we still decided to settle in a country town that averages around 30-35 each winter, and we bought the house so no moving if I don’t like it hehehe.

    • Z.L Arkadie

      A home in a country town sounds cozy 🙂 But 30-35 degrees! Whoa. I look out the window and see all those people walking around in their jeans and jackets and think, boy am I a wimp or what??? LOL! I just wish I could turn on some heat. It’s IN-SANE that I can’t turn on the heat! It sure would be nice if everyday was 75 degrees, everywhere, all over the world 🙂

    • Michelle Munday

      Its a lovely house, an old Queenslander with 12 foot high ceilings and timber floors.
      We have a fireplace but it only heats up the loungeroom so we don’t use it much during the week. I look forward to the weekends and being all snug & warm from the fire… I feel like a wimp too, I go out and have long pants, wool boots, jumpers & scarves & the locals wear skirst & a cardy lol

    • Z.L Arkadie

      Very nice! Sounds like the perfect way to spend a weekend 🙂 There’s also sitting in a cabana on a desolate beach in the Caribbean… 😉 The locals always make it look so easy don’t they… 🙂

    • Z.L Arkadie

      Hi Debera! Yeah… I’m learning not to put myself through the inner turmoil. However, I think it’s a normal part of the process… I’ll see what happens on the next go-round. 🙂 Have a wonderful weekend! Z

  • Jeane C

    Hang in there. It will get hot soon enough and then the 50 degree temps will be a wishful memory. Write the men the way you see them. I’ll still read. I don’t necessarily like vagina men either. Men are just who they are. Looking forward to a new release from you Jeane Coker

    • Z.L Arkadie

      🙂 Thanks for the encouragement, Jeane! I’m in my thigh-high socks, around the house tank dress and fluffy purple robe…I figure, at least it’s an experience. LOL! The next book in the Parched Series should be released on June 2nd. I’m hoping… It’s running a little behind in editing because of a few factors–moving being one of them. I’m hoping it gets into the hands of the first proofer next week.

      Talk soon and have a wonderful weekend!