I Want To Read Romance!

I’m going straight to those who read my books. Could you help me out?

I love indulging in a great story, especially a great romance. But I must say, normally I can’t get past the first page of romance novels on the best-sellers lists. I like romances that are written like mine.

Here’s what I roll my eyes at:

The book starts with snippy and sassy internal dialogue. BOR-ING.

Starts with a horny male’s POV. CREE-PY.

Starts right off telling us how much of a ten the female lead is. (Roll eyes)

Starts like a cliche TV show. Not for me. I hate, more like abhor cliches.

Hate these stories as well–she’s so hot and “Puritanically principled” that the dangerous crime-lord guy is going to become a pussycat because he wants her pussycat that much. (Rolls eyes). Granted, men are first attracted by what their eyes see but next comes who she is as a person. She has to have more than looks and demands. Which leads me to what I dislike next…

I hate the entitled female.  She’s so hot and he’s thirsty for her vagina she gets to control him with it. I listened to an audible romance (it’s the only way I can get through some of these stories is by listening to them), where the main character criticized the way he made tea, treating him like a kid. There were many schoolmarm lover instances in the book. Believe me, no man wants to bang “mommy.” That stuff only flies in these sorts of “entitled female” romances.

Which leads me to this, I hate male leads, who aren’t authentic to their real-life equivalent. For instance, I once tried to read a romance about a rockstar, who… wait for it… didn’t bang groupies! LOL! Like, really????? I had given up trying to struggle through the rest of that silly story after that. But I get it though… The female lead was a schoolmarm type of character without much going on for her other than, she wasn’t a “groupie-like” sort of person. So the hero had to buy into wanting to be with mean-mommy. Sigh… Rolls eyes.

And finally, I really hate snarky female POV’s. Snarky people are miserable in real-life.

Here’s what I like!

I like to be eased into a story. Put me in a character’s shoes and get me moving through their world right away. No snarky, quirky or passive aggressive dialogue. Where are we at? Where are we going? Let’s keep moving to the end. I’ve tried to get through countless numbers of romances but couldn’t for the reasons stated above. I won’t list the titles.

So, if anyone knows of romance that doesn’t have any of what I don’t like and all of what I like, then could you suggest the book(s) and author(s) in the comments. I would love to read the stories and suggest books to others.