So, this is a difficult time for me for sure. So…
After Destined, I experience a serious bout of burnout brought on by several forces. I’ve been renting for many years, and now, it’s time to become a homebuyer. As I get things together to do that, as a large part of buying a house is saving money, I have to live at my mom’s. But the thing is, I’m sort of confused about where I want to live–still.
I have a VR, and one of the environments is a futuristic city. I can hear the traffic and see the lights and cars riding on the air, and seriously all I want to do is jump into that reality. I’m taking it as a sign that I want to be somewhere exciting, inspirational, and forward-moving. But where is that place? Does it really even exist? In the end, will the same old human beings bring their crap into that city and make it miserable too? Sigh…
I know–dark, right?
I say that because as long as I remained in the present, I found it difficult to write a story, so I set The Mighty Valentines in the future. Not like the Jetsons or anything; it’s twenty-five years in the future. It took 25 years to get my mind over the hurdle.
The story is going very well, like, very well. I wrote the Christmas Family stories quite fast, and I’m taking my time with this one. Going back to how I started this post, I’m still writing mostly in a small room filled with big furniture, big, heavy, heavy bed, desk, TV on the wall… Like, I need my own furniture, my own refrigerator, my own big bed in a big room, my own yard, my own, my own, my own. And not having my own space/house aided in accelerating my burnout. But don’t get me wrong, I have mounds of gratitude to my mom for giving me a roof over my head while I get things together. Love her to the moon and back and then a few more laps.
And then there’s my savior complex. Sigh… Like, after I got out of the Army, I went to college, and I was hellbent on being a lawyer because I wanted to save the world. Fast-forward to now and extreme sessions with my ninja therapist, I have the tools to trace back to where my save the world complex came from, and it’s not from a healthy place. And so I’m a writer. The road to getting here was definitely not a straight line. I love writing. As a matter of fact, all of my earlier feedback about what I should do when I grow up had been centered on writing. You know, teachers calling me to them so we could talk about something I wrote–telling me how talented I am. The thing was, I felt so inadequate as a young person that I couldn’t really take in their compliments. Life is a journey filled with multiple twists and turns. Every decision carrying me closer to my destiny. During this burnout/breakdown I’ve had in the last few months, I ordered the LSAT study guide and multiple actuals. I’m good at studying for the LSAT. And if I finish the book, I know I’ll ace that bad boy. But, I know that the stuff that’s happening in the world, the injustice, the grown people who lack integrity and love for fellow humans, trapped in the middle of extremes who are too far gone to meet rationally in the middle, all of that brought back Captainess Save the World. And I’m getting that this issue runs deeper than fighting it out in court or something. Prayer. Daily, prayer is the best fix.
Gosh, it’s so hot in this dang little room.
I’m almost there. Only months away from my house purchase. (Just breathe).
Anyway, I’m writing this next series, and I’m not forcing myself to meet a difficult deadline. I’m supposed to send it to the editor in early January. I should meet that deadline with flying colors.
I’m not completely 100% though. These times are trying indeed. But I am writing again and taking it one day at a time.
Here’s a little sample of the working description:
I never thought I’d be committing corporate espionage, especially in the company of the guy I had a serious crush on in high school. Hercules Valentine is his name and he’s the sort of man that sets a girls panties on fire. We always had chemistry, but we also knew that the Valentines and the Groves don’t mix. So we never crossed that line.
Well… We did once. But he was too drunk to remember that night. Now that I’m here to take back what rightfully belongs to us, will my mission be thwarted by love?
So, yeah, something like that but a lot smoother.
Sigh… Anyway, stay tuned!