I don’t know about you but it’s been a very difficult week with the invasion of Ukraine and all.
I think I told you before, I’ve been in the military. I served in Desert Storm so I know how it feels to have the ground shake under your feet from bombing.
It’s the ultimate reminder that we are flesh and blood and that these strongmen, make decisions that injure other human beings while they bask in the best for themselves.
And then on top of that, a personal tragedy befell someone I love who is one of my closest family members.
You know, we grow up with our cousins. They’re like a mainstay in our lives as we change and evolve, and become especially in a family as close as mine. My cousins are like my sisters and brothers. We always want the world for them. And when something so devastatingly painful befalls them it’s a reminder of how genetically, how built into the wiring, family connections truly are.
It’s like… I’ve never seen her this hurt before. Looking into her eyes, I can see that this has changed her somehow. She lost someone she truly loves in a very horrific way. She’s one of those people who doesn’t fall in love often. But she fell in love with this man and now he’s never coming back to her.
And I feel as if constantly telling her she’ll be okay is just the wrong thing to say. If I were in her shoes, I wouldn’t want to be okay. At least not right now. I think it’s okay to not be okay and to let time heal the wound. Sigh…
I’ve notice that.
Everybody around her, including myself, is trying to fix it. It’s something we do right? Someone cries? Give them tissue. A soul-rousing, snotting nose prayer is supposed to be the carthatic magic bullet so she can get over it and move on already. But I can tell that it’s going to take a very long time for her to get over this one. When I look into her eyes, I can see that only God and time know how to fix it in their own very mysteriously supernatural ways.
However, I still have a book to finish. I took yesterday off to be there for my cousin. But her boyfriend’s death is even rattling me when I see his things in her room, sitting there, waiting for him. It’s just… awful. He was actually reading Intrigued, the combined version. I remember when she called me to say that he picked up the signed copy I gave her and started reading the book and couldn’t put it down. (Sigh… The memory makes me cry). I saw the book yesterday. He has a bookmark halfway through were he last stopped reading.
Taking a beat here…
He had said, “Yvonne, your cousin can write!” 😪
So, I’m getting through the read-through of the final version of Making It While Faking It before I write the last 10k words. That means, I should be done with the book by Friday if everything goes as planned. And let me tell you, I’m VERY happy with the story and I know you’ll be happy too!
There’s just so much bad going on in the world right now. And to be honest, worrying about Ukraine is a stress too. May God be with them. I won’t stop praying for them.